How to move forward from loneliness? How can you live an Authentic Life without this unwished feeling?
There is no easy way, as the way forward is the way through it. Loneliness is very present in everyone’s life. “Loneliness is a basic condition for our existence. It’s part of understanding and appreciating intimacy and, when correctly handled, deepens and extends our humanity” teaches David Schnarch.
The process of deepening and extending your humanity is what I call the Authentic Male Journey. The Journey that has the potential to lead you to your Authentic Life - the life that wants to live in you, not the one you believe you must be living or the one you must build or create.
This process is not easy and not many choose to take it. In this Journey, you will find that there are two kind of loneliness that most us get confused: existential loneliness and loneliness anxiety.
“Loneliness anxiety is our common but unnecessary fear of being alone, our normal neurosis, our alienation from ourselves. It surfaces in the pervasive “never be lonely” themes in modern society and what we now call “fears of abandonment.”
Existential loneliness is an inevitable part of being human. We can erase loneliness anxiety and ease existential loneliness by becoming more differentiated, but the fundamental loneliness of being human isn’t something you transcend entirely (unless you achieve a profound level of enlightenment).
We don’t “defeat” existential separateness - we simply see it rightfully as part of a larger whole” explain Moustakas.
The way to engage with existential loneliness to become more differentiated to live an Authentic Life is by:
1.Practicing deep talking and deep listening;
2. Spending time in Nature. “Nature never hurries, and yet, everything is accomplished” Rumi;
4. Engage with work and activities that are aligned with your values;
5. Be awakened to the feelings of your heart.
How to get to this stage? An experienced professional in deep listening can take you there.
Step forward. Book a session.
I, Felipe Oliveira, am a Male Counsellor for you to live an Authentic Life, and I can help you to engaging with the five points above. Get in touch and let’s examine your life together.
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Schnarch, D. (1997). Passionate Marriage: Keeping love & Intimacy Live in Committed Relationships. Owl Books. New York.