2. Men & Grief
Unfortunately we live in an individualistic, capitalist and addictive system. This system blocks and leaves the male soul shy and afraid to come out. It is all about buying and selling, anything outside it is perceived as unimportant. The system imposes four myths: 1) the only one exists; 2) Superior; 3) Knows and understands everything; and it is 4) Totally logical, rational and objective.
‘Men don’t cry’; ‘Toughen up princess’; ‘Don’t be a pussy’. As we can see the system doesn’t allow men to grieve, be sad or to cry. ‘What is not acknowledged, accepted and grieved over is projected onto others’. After a few decades of life, grieving becomes necessary. After a long fight against it, the acceptance comes and it becomes 'the work of a Warrior’ - Jung said.
The relationship with our father and mother (or anyone who has such authority in our life) generates a series of behaviours and ways of thinking with the goal to get attention, affection and approval from them. At the middle age of life, these behaviours may be re-examined, as normally they do not work anymore.
If we are honest with ourselves we deeply know these truths… we just avoid them by pretending we are strong, untill we can’t anymore. Here they are: 1. Life is not about you; 2. You are not in control; 3. You are not that important; 4. Life is hard; 5. You are going to die.
What is true manhood? What is authentic masculinity? When do I know I have become a Man? Why is it so hard to accept my failures? Why is it so hard to see the parts of my self I don’t like (shadow) and accept them? Making peace with these parts will lead to the True Self and is the path of Authentic Masculinity.
Felipe Oliveira provides counselling for men to awake to their True Selves. Click here to know more about his work . Or, please, continue reading this short article about the five main masculine themes part of the Authentic Male Journey.
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