• Felipe Oliveira
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Authentic Life™by Felipe Oliveira


The Five Hard Truths about Life

Main Theory

These truths serve primordially to destabilise the masculine ego. It serves to show the ego doesn’t have all the answers for life.

They are based on the teachings of a Franciscan monk called Richard Rohr. He worked intensively with the Native American people and as a chaplain in a penitentiary in America reflecting deeply on men's issues.

Here are the five truths:

1. Life is hard;

2. You are not in control;

3. Life is not about you;

4. You are not that important;

5. You are going to die.

As it is already noticeable, the Ego will never believe in any of above. The Ego will do whatever he can to convince one that life is easy, that you (or him) are in control, that life is about you (or him), that you (or him) are the most important person on Earth, and by the time you get old, the scientists will have discovered a medicine to live a thousand or more years - death will not be a reason for one to suffer. Nobody likes to reflect deeply on this truths (for obvious reasons) unless they face real pain, that always happens after a tragic event where one cannot fix or control, but to feel it and let be what is meant to be.

Directs to Inner Pain

These truths direct the human being toward the pain. It directs toward the wound and the bleeding. That is why the first lesson is ‘life is hard’. It is through this lesson that one learn to listen, to wait and to hope. It is through the necessary suffering that one matures; goes to his consciousness, awakes and becomes alerted. Before, it could be said was like a zombie life: feeling nothing, unconscious of himself and in a state of unawakened, just going through life.

Sacred Acceptance: The Path of Authentic Maturity

In the documentary called Absent, John Eldredge affirmed that people don’t want to grow up. People rather live their lives in a permanent teenage pop-culture influenced by gossip-magazines, than do the hard work. The hard work of asking “what can I learn from this suffering?”. People rather accept the feeling of guilt, and feel like a victim, than do ‘the hard work of changing the underlying illusion’ (Rohr, 2004, p.42) that can lead them to Authentic Self.

It is hard work because easily one will recognise right at the beginning that he is his own problem. Nobody enjoys accepting their own shit in public, or even in secret. In this point, the ego is an expert in all kinds of games to run away from such Sacred Acceptance that initiates one into the Path of Real Maturity.

Men's Work Process: Empowering the Masculine Soul

Another great point about the empowering work is that most of them happen in Nature . A place where is greater than the Ego. In such place, the ego is found in an unfamiliar area, where he becomes weak and his voice loses power. It becomes easier for him to get out of the way, giving passage to the Soul, and empowering the Heart’s voice.

Parker Palmer said once that ‘the soul is shy and timid’ and only comes up when feels safe. When comes to the masculine soul, one can multiply that for three or four. That’s why a process of a deeper inner work is important into the men’s life. “It educates the emotional life, the inner world, the soul, which for some reason we don’t think needs education as the mind does. Once you can grow in this way, you have an inner pattern for ongoing growth throughout your whole life… This work is about being conscious, awake and alert” (Rohr, 2004, p.36).

The Enlightening Side of the Truths

The powerful side of acknowledging and accept the destabilisation of our ego through the Truths is the start of living out of our True Selves. It is when you feel that:

1. You are not in control - you start to Focus and have Faith about what you can control and make the best out of it;

2. Life is not about you - you start to be more of Service of and looking to Connect deeper with others;

3. Life is hard - you start to work to feel stronger in your body with Endurance: emotionally wiser and full of vitality;

4. You are not that important - you start to feel the Freedom and the Beauty you are without worry or concern of any other superficial externalities;

5. You are going to die - once you realise that death is coming anyway, one starts to live with more Spontaneity & Joy of being alive, of having one more day alive, of having so much energy and vitality to live more regardless of what is going on.

The Truths once the ego is out of the way have the power to lead you to paying attention to Focus, Endurance, Service, Connection, Strength, Faith, Freedom, Beauty, Spontaneity and Joy. These are such important values to study deeper in every situation of life.

Where to go from Here

Once you make a decision to embrace this magnificent and empowering work, it is imperative to journey along someone who has been doing this journey for a while, and have large experience on it.

I am a Seasoned Life Coach from Brazil and have been living in Brisbane for 18 years. My formal education is a Masters in Psychotherapy and Counselling, and I have been working with men for more than a decade taking them through the Truths of Life on individual sessions and through retreats.

I am a Registered Clinical Counsellor with more than 1000 hours registered with PACFA and also a TRTP Certified Practitioner (Trauma Work): a new therapy that has been solving complex challenges in just 3 sessions.

My major purpose in life is to lead people to their Authentic Life™ - a life from inside out!

I live under the values of Abundance, Fun, Connection & Solitude.


If you believe I can help you, please go ahead and book a session below.

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Rohr, R. (2004). Adam’s return: the five promises of male initiation. Crossroad Publishing Company.


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