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Authentic Life™by Felipe Oliveira



How to Grieve in 7 Steps…

By following these 7 steps, you can learn how to use The Grieving Process as a transformational phase in our lives.

The “7 Steps” is based on a book written by Bill Plotkin in 2003.

Here is a brief description of how it works…

Step One:

You will need to prepare your personal space for enlightenment.·      

  • Use some candles;      

  • Have as little artificial light as possible;

  • Instrumental music in the background helps…but not loud;

These conditions will create a special place for tears to grow and flow. Choosing a natural setting would be better, if you can manage it.

Step Two:

You need to clearly identify the main reason or reasons that you are feeling this grief.

Step Three:

You need to give a name to the main feelings and emotions you are going through.



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Candles   Grief Counselling Men


Step Four:

You will need to find a way to express your gratitude…for love, forgiveness and the goodbyes associated with your grieving situation.

“Say the difficult and important things previously unsaid” Bill Plotkin.

A little gem to think about, if your grief involves someone who is still living… “you may or may not visit with each person in the flesh, but you will certainly have many poignant and emotional encounters ” Plotkin.

Step Five:

It will help to write letters and poems, paint expressive paintings and to use physical symbols like toys or objects from nature…it could be rocks, leaves, sticks…anything that will help you externalise those inner feelings that are deeply buried inside your heart. Ask me more about this...



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Letters   Grief Counselling

Step Six:

Whatever you choose to do, during your own personal grief ritual, you need to know this…“At the bottom of those grief waters lies a treasure, the source of man’s greater life.” Yes, Plotkin again with a message of hope!

The intention and the belief of a Greater Source of Life will be of extreme importance in the whole Grieving Process. Keeping that in mind is really essential, hence the advantage of having an experienced Professional helping you take these steps through your grieving space.

Step Seven:

The last and most important of these seven steps is to allow yourself the time and space for daily meditation.

“It develops the alertness of a centred mind, the ability to stay focussed and calmly present…you might begin with twenty minutes, sitting with your spine erect and steadily attending to your breath, both the inspirations and the expirations, perhaps counting the breaths and then repeating. When you notice your attention has drifted away, gently return to your breath ” Plotkin.


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Meditation in Nature   Grief Counselling

Grieving is about Trust the Process

The existential pain is always hard to deal with and though it may be difficult, ultimate success is possible. Let’s turn to our guide, Bill Plotkin, for a final word.

“The work of Grief is learning to put your faith and hope in waiting. Let your darkness become your light, making peace with your lack of knowing and trust the process fiercely.”

And that’s my closing message to you also to aid in dealing with your grief.

“Hold onto it and trust the Process!”

And if you could use the services of a companion to see you through this sacred space…Click the button below and let’s start your journey through “The 7 Steps” that will help you see the end of Your Grieving Process.

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Plotkin, Bill (2003) Soulcraft – Crossing into the mysteries of nature and psyche. New World Library Publishers.

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Felipe Oliveira

Felipe Oliveira is a counsellor for men to live an Authentic Life™, and is ready to work with you on your Grieving Process.

Send him an email now.

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